Why Being A Therapist Makes Us Lonely

Sometimes the loneliness of being a therapist hits me. I know, what the heck does this have to do with me helping you building your private practice? Maybe not much. Honestly, I’m just having a genuine moment here as I write this post.

But maybe a lot. Being in private practice is different. We’re on our own out here and sometimes that’s a lonely space.

I am sitting on a plane as I write this; next to two women who are talking. They’ve been talking the entire flight. I don’t want to be a part of this conversation. All my therapist peeps, I know you get it. We spend our days talking and listening. The last thing we want to do on a plane ride is get into a conversation. They’re talking non-stop about the conflicts and struggles of their lives. Seriously friends, I do not want to join in.

But in this same breath, I feel the isolation and the sadness in that. My separateness. That self-imposed aloneness.

Sometimes I reflect how this job has changed me. We create these islands around us when, ironically, our job is to know others in such intimate depth. But we are rarely known. Our job requires us to keep ourselves secret, the simplest details of our lives hidden. Our personal details stored away in the lockbox of our therapeutic boundaries.

So, we learn to be opaque. Then it becomes habit. Like all good defenses, it has a tendency to escape those necessary boundaries and leak into all the corners of our lives. You know what I mean right? That moment when someone at a party asks you a personal question and you find yourself tense up, directing the conversation back to them.

Does that opaqueness become a kind of prison? Sure, that’s hyperbole, but I feel it today as I sit apart. Listening to these women next to me connect over the stories from their lives but keeping myself separate.

I’m reflective today. So, I don’t have any answer for this. I think it’s crucial for us to reach out to each other and find the one or two people you can let your guard down with. I think we need to be aware of how insidious the need to screen ourselves can become and to make a point to let our inner lives be seen. Find your people. As you travel deeper into private practice you will need your connections. Reach out and let yourself be seen.

xoxo

Jennifer

 

 

 

I love helping therapists build successful private practices! For more great information like this to help you build yours, make sure to check out the Master Course and the Mini Courses. I’m here to support you and I want to help you reach your dream!

If you need some individual help with all of this, I’m here for you! I offer mentoring services for those who want some personal attention to help them build their successful private practice. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me. You can find out more on the Mentoring Groups page.

 

 

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